


(i'd say i love you) but i don't know who you are

by fanficloverme96



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, prompt on tumblr, why do I write this so early in the morning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 21:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/fanficloverme96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ONE-SHOT: "Merl- Where are- answer me. I'm sorry..." Merthur</p>
            </blockquote>





	(i'd say i love you) but i don't know who you are

He hears them again.

This is the fifth time today.

_(Mer—)_

Soft and distant, yet he could still hear them.

_(Mer-…Where—)_

Those voices echo in his head repeatedly.

_(Answer me…plea—)_

He stuffs a pillow over his ear and tries to sleep.

* * *

 

The sun is bright today.

A bit too bright.

He shields his eyes with his hands and continues to walk in the forest. He is looking for herbs and he has been wandering around for a few hours, defenseless-

Except,

He does not think he is.

_(Mer-…Plea—)_

He stares forward and walks on.

* * *

 

He finds a kingdom today.

It is a huge one. He guesses that it must be pretty powerful. He walks around blindly. He receives strange stares from people he does not recognize.

_(Come here…You’re nearly—)_

The voice gets louder. He winces.

_What do you want from me?_  He thinks desperately.

The voice does not reply.

* * *

 

“—we found him, Your Majesty.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes, we saw him at—,”

“Where, Gwaine? “

“—I was getting there. I saw him wandering in the village. Some of the other knights are taking care of him for the moment.”

“…how is he?”

“Confused, mostly.”

“But unhurt?”

“Unhurt.”

“Thank God.”

* * *

 

He is brought to a room.

In a castle.

The room is the king’s.

He wonders what he did wrong.

_(Merlin…You’re here…)_

_Shut up_ , he tells himself.

* * *

 

 

There is a young man standing in front of him. He sees a pair of bright eyes looking at him.

The man smiles suddenly. He walks nearer to him.

Suddenly, he finds himself being enveloped into a hug. The man breathes a sigh of relief.

“Merlin…You’re here at last.”

Merlin blinks.

“Who are you?” he asks, because really, the man is a stranger to him. A king of a kingdom he does not know of.

He watches as the man’s face crumbles.

He wonders if it is his fault.

* * *

 

 

He has a strange dream that night, asleep on a bed that is not his, in a room that is not his.

He dreams of colors; flashes of red, yellow, blue, green, purple—

He dreams of voices; mutters, murmurs, whispers, hurried conversations, shouts, screams—

He dreams of faces; the young lady with curly brown hair and the crown that matches her eyes, an elderly man with eyes full of wisdom, a group of men in armor, and the young king he meets earlier—

_(Merlin! Don’t—)_

He feels bodies pushing past him.

He hears haggard breathing all around him.

_(It’s too dangerous! You’ll never make it out alive!)_

He sees himself, all wounded and covered in mud, but with a carefree grin gracing his features.

_(It’s my duty to protect you, Arthur.)_

It’s his own voice, sounding alien to his own ears.

There is a flash of light.

A sharp pain flares.

His head hurts.

He sees red.

He hears more screams.

_(Merlin…no, no, no!)_

He sees the young King Arthur, kneeling beside him with tears streaming down his dirty cheeks.

Merlin does not like this dream.

It seems too close to the truth.

* * *

 

 

He remembers waking up in a strange room, running off when he knows that he does not know anything of the place.

He lives on his own for the past two years.

* * *

 

 

“Arthur, you must sleep.”

“He doesn’t remember us, Guinevere.”

“Give him time.”

“It’s been two years since we last saw him. How much more time does he need?”

“That’s entirely up to him, isn’t it?”

“I’m tired of waiting.”

“I know.”

* * *

 

When Merlin wakes up, the first thing he sees is a piece of paper addressed to him, sitting on the wooden bedside table.

He picks it up.

The paper is torn around the edges and it is already turning yellow. It is written a year ago.

He reads it.

_Dear Merlin,_

_Where are you? It has been a full year since I last saw you. My men are trying their hardest to find you but luck is not on our side lately._

_I hope that you are safe. Please…I’m sorry._

_Arthur_

But what is he sorry for?

* * *

 

 

He stays at the castle. It has been two weeks.

The queen is kind, her eyes full of understanding. He does not understand those looks she sends him.

He does not like the pain he sees in King Arthur’s eyes.

* * *

 

 

_(Merlin…I love—)_

* * *

 

 

_(Merlin…I’m sor—)_

* * *

 

 

Merlin leaves the castle three months later, opting to live with the elderly man who introduces himself as Gaius, instead.

Merlin is uncomfortable around him.

He has the same pained eyes as everyone around him

* * *

 

 

_(I love you.)_

* * *

 

 

_But I do not even know you._

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a Tumblr Prompt. In which I write angst during early mornings.


End file.
